Mastering the Pay Conversation

Season 2, Episode 1 of The Power Within

In today's professional landscape, understanding your worth and having the confidence to advocate for it are essential skills that many struggle to master. As Souhila Keffi, Strategic Compensation Advisor and founder of The Pay Edge explains, there's a significant disconnect between how companies structure compensation and how individuals approach salary negotiations.

The fear of negotiation is deeply rooted in our psychology. Many professionals worry about damaging relationships, appearing ungrateful, or even losing opportunities altogether by raising the topic of compensation. This fear is particularly pronounced among women, with research indicating that while 57% of men negotiate their starting salaries, only 7% of women do the same. This discrepancy creates a compounding effect throughout one's career, impacting not only base salary but also bonuses, retirement savings, and overall financial security.

At the heart of effective negotiation is a fundamental mindset shift. Many professionals tie their identity and self-worth to their compensation, making salary conversations deeply emotional rather than strategic. As Souhila points out, "It's not about you. You are not your salary." This perspective allows individuals to step back and approach conversations about compensation with clarity and objectivity rather than emotion.

The concept of transparency emerges as a critical factor in creating healthier compensation practices. When there's transparency around how pay decisions are made, what factors influence compensation, and what room exists for negotiation, both employers and employees benefit. This transparency reduces frustration, builds trust, and creates engagement. However, many companies still treat compensation as a "black box," leaving employees to fill knowledge gaps with assumptions that often lead to dissatisfaction.

Cultural differences significantly impact how we approach compensation conversations. What works in one business environment might not translate to another. Souhila shares her experience moving from Paris to Hong Kong, where she learned that her direct, assertive communication style didn't always land well in Asian business contexts. This highlights the importance of understanding cultural nuances when discussing compensation across different regions and adapting one's approach accordingly.

For those returning to work after career breaks, particularly women, negotiations present unique challenges. Many returnees carry guilt about their time away and feel pressured to accept lower salaries just to "get a foot in the door." This approach can be devastating long-term, as these initial salary disadvantages compound over time. Instead, returnees should focus on owning their story, recognising the transferable skills they've developed during their break, and negotiating from a position of value rather than need.

Frameworks can provide valuable structure to what otherwise feels like a nebulous, intimidating process. Souhila's EDGE framework (Evaluate, Design, Ground, Elevate) offers a step-by-step approach to salary negotiations, while her 3M framework for founders (Mindset, Model, Message) helps entrepreneurs price their services effectively. These frameworks help transform intimidating conversations into manageable processes.

The most powerful takeaway from Souhila's insights is that negotiation is a skill, not a personality trait. Like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and improved over time. Role-playing negotiations helps build muscle memory and reduces the emotional charge of these conversations. While negotiations can never be entirely scripted, preparation and practice significantly increase confidence and effectiveness.

For both employees and employers, there's tremendous value in normalising conversations about compensation. When individuals feel empowered to advocate for themselves with clarity and courage, and when organisations approach compensation with transparency and fairness, everyone benefits. The path forward involves removing fear, building negotiation skills, and creating environments where value is recognised and rewarded appropriately.

You can watch the video of this conversation Mastering the Pay Conversation with Souhila Keffi on my podcast The Power Within (Season 2, Episode 1). Why not join the 23k subscribers so you never miss an episode again! Subscribe here

Copyright - Keith Power

Managing Partner Motivus Coaching | Host of The Power Within